In Vietnam, a growing trend emerged where young women are hiring men to pose as boyfriends to alleviate mounting pressure from their parents to marry. Minh Thu, a 30-year-old woman from Nam Dinh Province, found herself in this situation when her parents insisted she bring a boyfriend home for the Lunar New Year. According to The Economic Times, she hired a man five years her senior, spending several million Vietnamese dong to satisfy her parents’ desire for grandchildren.
Impossible Expectations
Minh Thu’s demanding job left her little time for dating over the past five years, making it difficult to meet her parents’ expectations. Her parents even told her they would not allow her to return home for the Lunar New Year unless she brought a boyfriend. To prepare for the visit, Minh Thu and the hired man exchanged family backgrounds and built a fake emotional relationship a week in advance, coordinating their narratives and sharing family stories.
On the day he came to her house, the hired boyfriend helped her mother cook and engaged in conversation with the family. “It’s been a long time since I saw my parents so happy and proud,” Minh Thu told local media, according to The Economic Times. The man, a construction engineer who cooked well and had extensive knowledge of wine, charmed her family.
Similarly, The Economic Times told the story of Khanh Ngoc, a 33-year-old woman who had never dated. Facing familial pressure, she hired a handsome boyfriend four years younger than her to ease the tension with her parents. After renting a place to escape family expectations for a year, she introduced the rented boyfriend to her family, which left a lasting impression on her parents and improved her relationship with them.
Breaking From Tradition
These stories reflect a broader trend in Vietnam, where many young people are postponing marriage. Societal expectations have determined certain ages for milestones such as jobs, marriage, and having children. Vietnamese culture places a strong emphasis on marriage as a major milestone. Parents often express concerns about their children’s single status, viewing it as a reflection of their parenting success or failure.
To meet these expectations, dozens of social media groups have emerged in Vietnam offering partner rental services, with thousands of active members. Online platforms have played a major role in facilitating the rise of rented boyfriends, where women connect with men willing to pose as their partners.
One such man is Huy Tuan, a 25-year-old from Hanoi, who has been working as a “fake boyfriend” for various female clients for over a year, according to The Economic Times. He has turned his ability to pose as a boyfriend into a full-time job, preparing thoroughly for each client and undergoing training to meet a variety of demands. “I usually go to the gym, sing, cook, take photos, and I have to hone my conversation skills to meet the expectations of many clients,” he explained.
For over a year, he has been hired to accompany clients to social events, from casual coffee dates to family gatherings. Costs for these outings reach several hundred thousand dong for two hours and about one million dong for family gatherings. A two-hour coffee date or shopping outing typically costs between 100,000 to 200,000 Vietnamese dong (about $10-$20), while a family meeting costs around one million Vietnamese dong ($40). To provide better service, Huy limits his bookings to a few clients each month.
Despite its growing popularity, the trend of renting boyfriends raises concerns among experts regarding the emotional risks involved. Nguyen Thanh Nga, a researcher at the Academy of Journalism and Communication in Vietnam, warned, “If families find out, it can cause serious emotional damage and loss of trust. Also, in Vietnam, boyfriend rental services are not legally protected, so women should be especially careful,” as reported by The Economic Times.
Sociologist Dr. Pham Thi Thuy observed that parents often do not agree with their children’s decisions, leading to conflicts. “Marriage should follow the children’s plans, but it is often forced to fit their parents’ schedule,” Dr. Pham told VnExpress, as cited by News18. The pressure on young adults to marry is further fueled by parents’ desire to have grandchildren while they are still able to help with their upbringing. Experts have observed that renting partners serves as a safety net against the increasing pressure young adults receive from their families.
While renting a boyfriend may provide a temporary solution to societal expectations, it leaves potential emotional fallout if the truth were to be uncovered. One online commenter reflected, “I can’t imagine how heartbreaking it would be for parents to find out it was a lie,” according to The Economic Times. Another commenter noted, “Marrying without a successful career just leads to a lot of problems. Renting a partner is a win-win—it makes your parents happy and alleviates pressure on you.”
The trend is not unique to Vietnam. In neighboring China, many young people have turned to the same solution, particularly during key festivals like the Mid-Autumn Festival and Lunar New Year. The Economic Times reports that in the first half of 2023, China saw the lowest number of marriage registrations in a decade, with only 3.43 million people registering for marriage. In China, the prices for renting a partner are typically around 1,000 yuan ($140) per day.
